


Together

by Writinginstardust



Category: The Aurora Cycle - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Hugs, Self-Doubt, Stargazing, awkward emotionally constipated people try to talk about feelings, it's cute and soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 19:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20935295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writinginstardust/pseuds/Writinginstardust
Summary: When Finian finds his best friend crying in an abandoned observatory at the academy, he knows he needs to be their for her. Problem is, the feelings thing isn't really his forte. But when the girl you might love is sad, you do whatever you can to help.





	Together

"You would not _believe_ how fine the Jones twins were looking today. I had both of them, both, on my drill squad today and Maker they-" Finian's voice cut off as he noticed the shaking hunched over figure in the middle of the observatory. The image took a minute to compute and he wondered for a second if someone else had found their little secret haven. (Y/N) wasn't the hunched over type. Not normally anyway. 

Finian had been best friends with her for years and he could count on one hand the times he'd seen her visibly upset. She was happy by nature, a sarcastic pain-in-the-ass who loved to joke around and never appeared to take life too seriously. Much like him. Of course, being so similar, he was acutely aware of the layers of insecurity, mild trauma, and self-worth issues that lay beneath, but they seldom spoke of it all seriously. Opening up wasn't something either of them enjoyed. Now though, now Finian was beginning to think that they should. Walking in and finding his best friend crying alone was something that didn't sit right with him.

Finian's knee-jerk reaction to an emotionally charged situation was to flee. That or make poorly-timed jokes until the air cleared. But he forced himself to walk into the room and take a seat on the floor beside his friend. A couple of minutes ticked by in silence as Finian struggled to figure out how to do this. He wasn't practised in comforting others, in truth he wasn't much used to receiving any comfort either so he had very little experience to draw on. He'd try though. For the only person who really got him and cared about him, he'd try.

His presence alone seemed to be going some way to help her. Her body had stopped trembling with sobs now at least. A little while longer in companionable silence and Finian sensed she might be ready to talk about it. He still wasn't entirely sure how. This wasn't what he did - talking about feelings, and he wouldn't for most people. (Y/N) wasn't most people though.

"You want to talk?" He hazarded. She shrugged, not looking at him. He didn't look at her too much either. Somehow it was easier to do this that way. The shrug told him enough. Whatever it was hurt her a lot. She was trying to push it deep down. She didn't particularly feel like sharing. 

A year ago Finian might have let her leave it at that. He didn't like conversations like this and would be glad for the excuse not to have one. But he knew it wasn't healthy and over the past year he'd grown to care even more about the girl beside him. Too much really. Seeing her upset hurt something inside of him and he wanted to make it better. Needed to make it better. The thought frightened him but he was in too deep without realising and he wasn't going to back out now.

"I can see you're not okay. Talk to me." She sighed.

"Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Like you might as well not exist and that you could just disappear and no one would even notice or care." Oh she hit the nail right on the head there.

"Honestly, yeah. All the time,” he admitted. “But if it makes you feel better, I can think of at least one person who would care if you disappeared.” He looked over to her smiling, much softer and more genuine than usual and she tried a small smile back. Finian didn’t need to clarify who he meant.

“Thanks,” she whispered, “It does make me feel a bit better actually.” And she meant it. Fin always managed to make her feel better without trying. Even on the edge of an emotional breakdown, his presence kept her from falling apart. But it had been a rough day and she’d not seen him since breakfast so now they were left picking up the pieces. 

Finian's suit whirred and clicked after a couple of minutes sat in silence as he hesitantly lifted his arm to wrap around her shoulders. She leaned into him instinctively, heart hammering. They didn’t usually hug, didn’t usually do the soft comfort thing, didn’t usually let too much emotion into their words or actions. This was a weighted move and she wasn’t sure what it meant for them. She knew what she wanted it to mean.

“I wonder if there’s even any point trying anymore,” (Y/N) sighed after a few more minutes. “It feels like whatever I do, it’s never enough. I want to do something that matters but I’m never going to because even my best isn’t good enough. It doesn’t matter. _I _don’t matter.”

Finian stilled. It was a stab in the chest to hear those words from her. How could she ever think she didn’t matter? She mattered more than anyone in the entire galaxy, to him at least. Maybe it was about time he told her.

“You matter to me.” It was barely a whisper, his body freaking out and trying to stop the words before they escaped. This went against everything he usually was to say it, the admission tearing through the iron walls he’d built around his heart in an attempt to protect himself. He knew (Y/N) had her own walls, knew they were strong and fortified, but he hoped anyway. Maybe she wouldn’t let the words reach her, maybe she would. Maker, he hoped she would. She deserved to know some sort of love and affection in this messed up life. He looked over to her. She turned towards him, looking up at him with teary eyes.

There was a weak smile on her face and Finian was transfixed. A soft glow drenched her skin, starlight twinkling in the reflection of her eyes. Objectively she was a mess. Tears coating her cheeks, nose threatening to run, hair mussed by her hands. Still, face open and raw with emotion, Finian thought she was beautiful. He might regret his next move but he was off-balance in the wake of their heart-to-heart and the tight hold he usually kept on the impulse loosened. He kissed her. She kissed him back. Lips moved softly, tentatively, adoringly, the kiss completely unexpected but wondrous. She pulled back, eyes shut, lips lingering near his as she spoke.

“Thank you.” It was choked, forced, the words catching in her throat on a bubble of emotion she usually fought back, “for everything.” She tucked her head into his shoulder, flicking her eyes back to the stars outside the window. There was nothing left to say, everything they needed to know easily read from each other’s bodies, so they sat and watched the stars in silence. Things were changing between them but fundamentally everything was the same. Without the walls keeping their emotions in check they were confronted with a truth so basic and solid it seemed ridiculous they’d never noticed it before. They loved each other. They needed each other. Together they could face anything.


End file.
